Attending my first semester at BYU-Idaho, I became acquainted with a teenage girl working at the same restaurant as me. We worked together often, but never made the effort to do anything outside of that, until she asked me one day if we could talk after work. Slightly confused, I told her I’d be happy to talk. As we drove together to my apartment, she began to open up to me about some serious struggles in her life. I could hear shaking in her voice as she attempted to explain to me the reasons she had lost her desire to live and was planning on taking her own life. Many of the reasons were tied to the distance she felt between herself and her family; she didn’t feel like she had anyone to go to that cared enough about her to love her through her struggles, resulting in her turning to me, a mere acquaintance from work. My heart sunk and I began pondering on what in the world I could say to comfort her in any way. Realizing my words would simply be useless attempts to fill the emptiness she felt inside, I carefully listened to her and let her cry before assuring her that she was amazing and letting her know how proud I was that she kept fighting. I invited her to stay the night at my apartment to make sure she stayed safe and didn’t cause harm to herself. Looking back, I recognize many aspects of her life that led her to that point. While I am grateful I was able to be there for her that night, it worries me that there are so many other struggling teenagers who don’t know where to go to comfortably express their concerns.
In a study led by Dr. Mark Regnerus on his Family Structure Studies website, he provides data regarding common trends and issues in family life in correspondence to the situations in which children are raised. According to his research questioning which children most often have suicidal thoughts, the statistics prove that children raised in a home with divorced, homosexual, or step parents are more likely to have suicidal thoughts more regularly; in some cases even by 19%! In addition, The Suicide and Crisis Center of North Texas suggests there are over 12 teen suicides each day, not to mention the average 100+ daily attempts. It breaks my heart to think about these children who feel lost, and sometimes abandoned, causing their desire to end their lives. With these only increasing statistics, something must be done to improve the way teens view themselves and the value of their lives.
From research studies to the conversations I have had with my friend, it is clear to see the connection between poor connections in family life and suicidal thoughts. Therefore, an obvious solution would be increasing focus and awareness on nourishing family relationships. A common factor in youth lacking emotional connections to their families is an absence of trust, or even a lack of high levels of love, in the home. Without those intimate bonds between family members, it can be difficult for teens to vulnerably express their thoughts and feelings. While this constructive and caring communication may sound insignificant, on a larger scale, one simple conversation can immensely impact these individuals and even, in some cases, save their lives.
I acknowledge that there are many circumstances in which obtaining proper and healthy family relationships is limited. I hope and pray that each individual teen is able to have a safe place, or person, they can go to to find the love they can’t feel for themselves, whether inside or outside of their immediate family.
In a document entitled “The Family-A Proclamation to the World” created and signed by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in 1995, it states, “The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave.” Such an important unit of society should be cherished and cared for throughout this life. This includes supporting and loving family members to ensure that each individual need is cared for. I am certain that by living in such a way, the rate of teen suicide attempts would decrease significantly and youth would more comfortably communicate with parents and members in their family.
Love, Lily
Sources:
Teen Suicide Facts. Suicide & Crisis Center of North Texas. (2017, February 1). Retrieved September 22, 2022, from https://www.sccenter.org/programs-and-services/for-teens/teen-suicide-facts/
Regnerus, M. (n.d.). Outcomes for Children. Familystructurestudies.com – NFSS – outcomes for children. Retrieved September 22, 2022, from http://familystructurestudies.com/outcomes/
Hinckley, G. B. (1995, September 23). The family proclamation. Proclamation. Retrieved September 22, 2022, from https://abn.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng&adobe_mc_ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.churchofjesuschrist.org%2Fstudy%2Fscriptures%2Fthe-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world%2Fthe-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world%3Flang&adobe_mc_sdid=SDID
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