In the ancient language of Greek, there are several different words to describe one simple yet powerful word of the English language: love. While I find it extremely disappointing that English only offers a single word to attempt to describe the universally known most powerful feeling, I will briefly explain four contrasting yet incredible definitions of four Greek expressions describing our favorite four-letter English word.
Philia: love that involves friendship; the love that strong friends feel toward each other (Kelly, 2022)
Eros: sexual or passionate love and desire (Howitt-Marshall, 2021)
Storge: used in Christianity to mean family love; the bond among mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, sisters, and brothers (Zavada, 2021)
Agape: sacrificial love that voluntarily suffers inconvenience, discomfort, and even death for the benefit of another without expecting anything in return (Houdmann, n.d.)
From these definitions, it is clear to see that love roots a lot deeper than simply an affectionate feeling towards another person. I direct my thoughts today on the love that is experienced between a man and woman in a marital bond and how that can be both felt and actively displayed.
I invite you to glance back at the four Greek words I’ve referenced and decide which of the definitions most accurately depicts your opinions on how love should be felt in a romantic, marital relationship. While your answer may be completely different than someone else pondering the same idea, I feel confident in assuming that a large percentage of us humans, initially myself included, would quickly select “eros” in this particular setting of love. Clearly, this passion, and even sexual, love and desire is critical in a flourishing marital relationship, but I find great significance in each of the other three forms of love as well.
In my opinion, healthy romantic relationships are founded upon deep rooted friendships involving trust, respect, and ‘philia’ based love. This is critical as strong friendships are a safe place to engage together in mutually enjoyed activities and meaningful conversations, rely on each other for help and support through difficult times, and appreciate the joyful aspects of life side by side. With time, these special friendships can become something deeper and eventually lead to romantic feelings and relationships.
This foundation of friendship is important as it prepares us for what is to come with that particular person. Regarding sexual intimacy, or ‘eros’, Dr. Andrew Magers suggests, “Now, there are certain systems in our brain that move us towards mating (like most animals), and there are additional systems in our brains that wire us to connect with one person, together, for life (unlike most animals). ” (Magers, 2020) There is an incredible amount of empirical research supporting the idea of postponing intercourse until after marriage, and I believe a considerable factor of this would be the physical and emotional bond that is tied to intimacy. Magers goes on to explain, “[Sex is] similar to how sticky a piece of tape is. The first time you apply it to a surface, it bonds strongly. But if you take it off and apply it to another surface, it’s less adhesive. Soon, it’s barely sticky at all.” As I previously stated, ‘eros’ is a beautiful and critical aspect of marriage, and when viewed and treated as such, it can be one of the most strengthening and bonding experiences of a relationship.
‘Storge’ is another essential feeling experienced in this life as it allows us to connect to and appreciate those who share our last name and genetics. As many loving parents know, it can be difficult to express in words how it feels to love and care for a child. I find it simply amazing that God has provided a way for us to not only assist in the upbringing of His children on earth by raising them as our own, but He has given us the opportunity to literally create them with our very personality traits and physical features. Because of this quite literal relation to each other, it is clear that loving bonding seems to come naturally in homes and families. Likewise, the upbringing of children increases love between husband and wife as they work together to provide protection for their young ones.
Finally, ‘agape’ is by far the most unfathomable and elaborate forms of love. Used to describe the word ‘charity’ throughout Christian scripture, agape literally means loving and sacrificing for others without any expectations of anything in return. In 2 Corinthians, Christ teaches, “Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.” (2 Cor. 9:7) While this is mainly directed towards sharing physical needs with others, I believe that especially in a marriage, giving yourself to someone else even, and especially when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable is one of the greatest ways to actively show someone you love them rather than just saying it.
In conclusion, each definition of the Greek terms for the word ‘love’ showcase the importance of viewing love as an action word rather than merely a feeling or words we say to make someone feel appreciated. Love can be shown through friendships, family relationships, intimate romances, and through genuine acts of Christlike love and sacrifice.
Love, Lily
Sources:
Zavada, J. (2021, May 4). What is Storge Love in the Bible? Learn Religions. Retrieved October 27, 2022, from https://www.learnreligions.com/what-is-storge-love-700698
Kelly, J. (2022, February 2). 8 greek words for love that will make your heart soar. Dictionary.com. Retrieved October 27, 2022, from https://www.dictionary.com/e/greek-words-for-love
Howitt-Marshall, D. (2021, February 13). Word history: A look at “Eros” and love in ancient greece. Greece Is. Retrieved October 27, 2022, from https://www.greece-is.com/word-history-a-look-at-eros-and-love-in-ancient-greece/
Houdmann, S. M. (n.d.). What is the meaning of agape love? CompellingTruth.org. Retrieved October 27, 2022, from https://www.compellingtruth.org/agape-love.html
Magers, A. (2020, February 20). The science of sex before marriage. The Science of Sex Before Marriage – The Well Clinic. Retrieved October 27, 2022, from https://mywellclinic.com/blog/2020/02/20/science-sex-marriage/
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